I have a dilema.
In January I had no choice but to pull my twenty-month-old son out of the daycare he attended. I can send him to the daycare my five-year-old is enrolled in, but only when he turns two. That’s in September. I made the decision to stay home with him rather than leave him in a daycare I was unsatisfied with. As hard as it was to quit my job, my boss shocked me the following day. He offered to let me work from home four days a week as long as I came in once a week for meetings and returned full time in September. I convinced my mother-in-law to help me out once a week and called him back to accept his offer.
I thought I’d never be able to be at home full time. Being at home is about a thousand time harder than being at the office. Trust me when I say I’m not exaggerating. There aren’t any coffee breaks with the girls or peaceful lunch hour errand runs. You don’t realize how nice it is to be able to type an email without a curious toddler slamming your laptop closed over your fingers until that luxury is gone.
But here’s my problem. Tonight, for the first time in my career, I had a moment of dread. Tomorrow’s Monday. My day in the office and my immediate thought was I don’t want to leave him. But soon I won’t have a choice. I need my job. We’re not in a place financially where I can stay home with the kids. So my next decision becomes whether or not I start actively looking for a job that I can do from home. Sure I can do my job as a freelancer but I need clients. I need referrals. Then the avalanche of questions start. Do I need a website? How much will it cost me to work as a freelancer? Will I have to drive around the city? I need a whole lot of time do prepare these items that I already don’t have.
I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m pretty sure my life will take a drastically different turn by the time winter rolls around again. Wish me luck…